Is it okay if I say I am treasuring every moment?

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Is it okay if I say I am treasuring every moment?

Because I truly think I am as much as I possibly can. But I don’t think anyone can actually soak it in as much as everyone tells you to.

•The random leg hugs that make you almost fall down when you’re walking.

•The sparkly eyes shouting “MOMMY” from across the room.

•The first smile you catch on the changing table as you’re putting them into the 3rd outfit of the day.

•The gasping sigh on your chest after they have been crying for 5 minutes straight.

•The warmth of their body leaning on yours.

•The weight of their head on your shoulder when they have fallen asleep.

•The high pitched laughs with nothing holding them back.

•When you’re up for the 3rd time at night, but when they see your face they wiggle and squeal with delight.

•The little hands wrapped tightly around your finger.

The moments that bring me to joyful tears are so intermixed with moments that threaten to overwhelm me so often that I worry that I’m missing it. It’s repetitive, even grueling sometimes, and really really exhausting. But sometimes at 9pm when they’re both asleep and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry and sleep, I bend down to pick up another shoe, a burp cloth, a book, and a blanket… and suddenly I’m flooded with the realization that this is the life I prayed for… for so many years. And then I do break down into tears. Holy tears of worship and gratitude and I soak it in with every fiber of my being.

Things can be hard without being bad. Motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever done… but it is also by far the BEST thing I have ever been called to do