Solo Parenting and Being a Director’s Wife
He’s a band director, I’m a band directors wife, we’re a band family.
2 minute read
Contrary to popular perception, it’s not just season, a job, a regular teacher’s life, or something that is just fun to do. It’s a calling. His calling became my calling, which then became our family’s calling. It’s a calling that requires passion, commitment, drive (so much drive), sacrifice(!), selflessness, and flexibility. Of all of us. It’s a late hours and every day of the week type of calling. No one else understands it, and the closest I’ve found to getting it is coaches wives and families. If you see us involved in anything in life besides band, you know it’s a massive a priority for us. Many relationships really struggle under the pressure of this career and calling, I see constantly in the community Fb support groups of people living completely separate lives because of it or even breaking apart. And truthfully? I get it. It’s THAT hard. And we are not immune. It has actually been quite rough and lonely at times. Especially when we had kiddos. This year felt new though. For me especially. I have been praying for fresh perspective and renewed commitment. Instead of fighting it, instead of pretending it is an easy life or expecting our lives to look like other peoples, I’ve learned to just dive on in. Show up at the shows. Show up at the rehearsals, the games, the concerts. Play in the band truck and picnic in the office. Fight for stability in my home because the lifestyle of band itself is so erratic at times. And honestly? It’s been the most demanding year of work for josh, but I’d also say it has been the best year for our family. I have the Lord to praise for that. For helping me settle in, for showing me how to own our life and see the beauty in it. To be thankful we get to be so involved in something together. I get to be amazed by Josh all the time…. and wow I am just so proud.
I’m not sure what made me want to share all this tonight. It’s been swirling in my head for a while now. I guess I’m just saying I know our life won’t look like everyone else’s and at times that’s naturally lonely and strenuous. Other people face that as well in different ways. But wow, there is so much GOOD to be found in supporting your family’s calling. Dying to self and giving up on comparison. And I’m so excited to experience it together as it changes and flows through the years. The Lord has been so good to us.
But here’s to year 2022-2023. It went out with a blaring train horn at the end of the symphonic band’s performance of “The great Locomotive chase”. Cory was watching the program the entire time waiting for that song and I just smiled. I’ll always remember this as the year we settled into it all… in a really really good way.